Friday, April 2, 2010

This is getting ri-gosh darn-diculous

Really? I mean come on, who's next? How about the paperboy that Tiger Woods didn't tip well enough 8 years ago. Or how about the person that he cut off while driving his car? Are they going to come out and demand a private and public apology from Tiger Woods?

I had thought that I'd seen it all when porn star Joslyn James held her press conference (while fighting back tears) and demanded an apology from Tiger Woods for what he put her through. James came across as a money grubbing streetwalker. Her lawyer, Gloria Allred, came across as a filthy parasite who gives lawyers a bad name.

Now a new woman has entered the picture. She is 69 year old Maureen Decker, Tiger Woods former kindergarten teacher. Maureen would like Tiger to apologize for a story about him written in Charles Barkley's book, "Who's afraid of the big black man". In this story, Tiger claims that on his first day of school, a bunch of kids tied him to a tree and spray painted the word "nigger" on him while teachers at the school stood around and did nothing. Maureen contends that this never happened.

Personally, I'm getting really tired hearing about Tiger Woods. Yes, we all know that he is not the person that most of the world thought that he was. He is not a saint. He screwed up so badly that he will never live it down. It has ruined his legacy forever. GET OVER IT!!

I'd like to send a personal message to that blood sucking leach of an attorney Gloria Allred. We do not care about Tiger Woods and his past exploits! It's old news! You need to go away and try to save the barely there shred of dignity you have left. You are not breaking any news by holding press conferences for crazed porn stars and batty kindergarten teachers!

I'm so sick of hearing about Tiger Woods. Honestly, I'd rather hear a story about Brett Favre.

1 comment:

Nathan H. said...

I like that last line Matt.